[00:00:00] So check it out. Most restaurant owners pride themselves on being nice. They're nice to the staff, they're nice to all their managers. Yes, they're nice to their guests. And on the surface, that might sound like leadership. But here's the uncomfortable truth. Niceness is one of the most expensive habits in a restaurant tour. So today we're going to talk about why avoiding discomfort is quietly destroying your culture, your consistency, and, yes, your profitability. Most importantly, we're gonna talk about what real leadership actually looks like. All of that on today's episode of Restaurant Strategy.
[00:00:34] There's an old saying that goes something like this. You'll only find three kinds of people in the world. Those who see, those who will never see, and those who can see when shown.
[00:00:44] This is Restaurant Strategy, a podcast with answers for anyone who's.
[00:01:00] Foreign.
[00:01:06] Thanks for tuning in. My name is Chip Close. I am your host here of the Restaurant Strategy podcast. We put out two episodes every single week. If you don't know me, I'm a 25 year veteran in this industry. I have an MBA in food marketing. I wrote a book, it's called the Restaurant Marketing Mindset. I give talks all over the country. I host a coaching program called the P3 mastermind. But I also have a membership site. It's called Restaurant Foundations. It's for restaurants that are just starting out, just looking to grow. If you want to dial in your leadership, you want to build some stability with your marketing, you want to grow revenue, all of that can be found in Restaurant Foundations. And you get access absolutely for free for the first 30 days. After that, it's $97 a month. Obviously, I hope you stick around for a long time because we're always adding new content to that platform. But why not go check it out for free? Restaurant Foundations, you're going to find that link in the show notes.
[00:01:59] Now, do you know what the cost is on your third best selling entree? With Margin Edge, you could know that food cost percentage instantly. See, Margin Edge is a complete restaurant management software that I recommend to all of the P3 members, anyone looking to improve their profitability. With Margin Edge, you just snap pictures of your invoices as they come in and you get real time data for every area of your business. You can see plate costs in real time. You get a daily P and L, your inventory count sheets are automatically updated.
[00:02:30] I'm telling you, it saves you a ton of time and it lets you make really informed decisions. I have a client Gather brewing. They're down outside of San Antonio. They just Opened a second location in Boise. They started using Margin Edge at their first location. And within 30 days, their food costs went from 38% to 28%. I don't have to tell you what that means for the profitability of the restaurant. There's a reason I recommend this software. Margin Edge is perfect for so many of you out there. I recommend it because I know it works. You're interested in learning more? Or if you want to see how Gather brewing went from 38% to 28% food costs, head over to margin edge.com chip. You watch a really cool video that they shot down at the brewery. Again, margin edge.com chip and yes, that link is in the show notes.
[00:03:17] Now let's be really clear. Niceness is not the same as kindness. So like anything else, we have to start by defining those terms.
[00:03:28] Niceness is about avoiding discomfort. Kindness, I believe, is based on creating clarity. Again, niceness avoids discomfort. Kindness creates clarity. So nice leaders often avoid tough conversations. They let standards slide because they don't want to upset the apple cart. They delay decisions because they know some people aren't going to like the decision they make. And oftentimes they walk around hoping that the problems just magically fix themselves.
[00:03:56] But kind leaders are clear early on. They set clear expectations. They hold standards consistently, no matter who it is. They address issues directly. And all of that is used to protect the team.
[00:04:10] See, most owners think they're being kind, but they're actually being unclear. They are being nice when kindness is the thing that's called for. So every time you avoid a conversation, tough, difficult, whatever, you create confusion. And there's a compounding cost to being quote, unquote nice. You don't correct the behavior so it repeats. You don't set the boundaries to. The boundary gets pushed, right? You give an inch, take a mile. You don't enforce the standard, so then it becomes optional and new standards set in. That's how a culture establishes itself rather than the culture that you are trying to establish. And suddenly what happens is your high performers get frustrated, low performers get comfortable. The culture erodes. Or as I like to say, a new culture sets in. Not the one that you establish, but by the one that just that you let happen.
[00:05:01] All because someone. And when I mean someone, I mean you. All because you didn't want to be the bad guy.
[00:05:08] See, inconsistency will start to feel personal for the people that you don't want to upset, but it will.
[00:05:16] Systems, on the other hand, create fairness.
[00:05:20] So when standards are enforced emotionally, right, feedback feels Arbitrary accountability feels personal, resentment starts to build.
[00:05:28] But when standards are enforced systematically, expectations are clear, consequences are predictable, fairness increases, there is a sense of justice.
[00:05:40] And again, we talk about that word culture.
[00:05:43] The right kind of culture establishes.
[00:05:46] So being nice often means being inconsistent, which I know is not what you want, but that is what you are doing.
[00:05:53] And inconsistency is brutal for morale.
[00:05:57] See, what happens is your best people end up paying the price for your niceness. And this is the part that most owners miss. See your top performers, they're watching. They see everything.
[00:06:10] And when they see poor behavior being tolerated, when they see standards being ignored, when they see effort, often their effort go unrewarded. They disengage and eventually they leave. That's why we get turnover. The strange thing about restaurants is we get turnover at the bottom because they just can't hang. And we get a lot of turnover at the top because they don't want to stick around.
[00:06:33] So you get a lot of people in the middle, a lot of mediocre employees, when actually. So what you're trying to do again is not upset the apple cart and you are creating more volatility than you realize.
[00:06:44] So again, when these top performers watch, when they feel like standards are being upheld emotionally and lack consistently, they do. They disengage and they leave. And it's not because the job is hard. That's why the poor performers leave. They leave because leadership is weak.
[00:07:03] Really, avoiding discomfort is a form of self protection and I get that. But let's be honest. Being nice often isn't about the team. It's about you. It's about the owner avoiding conflict, avoiding tension, avoiding responsibility.
[00:07:17] But let me tell you, leadership is not about comfort. Leadership is very uncomfortable. There's a reason there are all these sayings and cliches. It's lonely at the top. It's lonely at the top because you only have to answer to you and you are responsible for holding everybody else accountable below you.
[00:07:35] Really, leadership is about stewardship. And that's not meant to be comfortable. Doing the hard thing, the right thing, the fair thing, often is uncomfortable. Sorry, that's what you got yourself into.
[00:07:48] What happens is clear expectations ultimately reduce conflict, right? They don't create it.
[00:07:55] Owners fear that being direct creates tension, but actually the opposite is true.
[00:08:00] Unclear expectations are what create ongoing tension. Clear expectations create short term discomfort, sure, but long term calm.
[00:08:11] So that everyone, everyone understands the rules, everyone understands the guidelines. They know what they're supposed to do, when they're supposed to do it, how they're supposed to do it and ultimately why it matters that they do it the right way.
[00:08:24] Setting clear expectations is crucial for being a great leader.
[00:08:30] Now, running a restaurant means juggling a lot. Staffing, inventory, customer service, finances. And sales tax has to be done. But while no one plans to miss a deadline or miscalculate a payment, we know that mistakes happen. And when those happen, we know they can lead to penalties, fines, and yes, added stress. That's why there's Davo by Avalara. Davo integrates with your point of sale system and automatically sets aside sales tax daily, giving you a clear view of your actual cash flow. Then, when it's time to file, Davo files and pays your sales tax on time and in full, guaranteed. So no more last minute scrambles or costly mistakes. It's just seamless automation. Thousands of restaurants trust Davo already. And with a 4.9 star rating on G2, it's a proven solution. Your first monthly filing is absolutely free with zero commitment. So you get to try it out. Get started
[email protected] RestaurantStrategy. Yes, you'll find that link in the show notes.
[00:09:34] So today we're talking about niceness and kindness. And really what it is is about consistency and clarity when it comes to expectations.
[00:09:42] See, kind leaders, not nice leaders, right? Kind leaders are willing to be a little bit uncomfortable because the best leaders I know say the hard thing early. They don't let small issues grow, they nip it in the bud. They protect standards relentlessly, no matter who is letting the standards slip. And because of that, they are respected. Not feared, but respected and trusted.
[00:10:08] That's crucial. So here's the real shift right here. It is nice leadership might protect feelings, might might feel like you're doing everybody a service. But strong leadership is the thing that actually protects the team. And those are not the same thing. Nice and strong, nice and kind. They are very different.
[00:10:29] So here's your action, right? I want you to ask yourself, what conversation am I avoiding right now? That is the most expensive conversation in your restaurant. It is costing you money.
[00:10:40] Whether you know it, it is costing you now or later. It is expensive. So what conversation am I avoiding right now? Here's the thing that I always say, right? When we do manager meetings every single week. And I learned this from one of my mentors. He would always be really critical. He would go around and he would say, give me one decision you made this week that you felt like you weren't capable of making and let's talk about it, right? Or tell Me, one decision you made where you think you made the wrong decision. And we would go all the way around in a manager meeting, right, to really get the leadership clear and say, well, you know, such and such happened. And I ended up doing this, but I don't think that was right. I think I should have been doing that.
[00:11:22] We were, we were critical in that key moment then. And this was a really kind thing. The, in this case, the general manager would go around and, and point out a decision that he saw somebody make the wrong decision. So every single person, right? That's how closely he was watching what everyone did. Hey, on Thursday you did this. And I really don't think that was, that was how you should have handled it, blah, blah, blah. And he didn't do it as a gotcha. He did it not in private, but publicly within the framework of that manager meeting. So eight, 10 people around a table and he would point out these things. And it did two really important things. Number one, it took away the stigma of making a mistake. It took away the stigma of criticism. It basically said, everybody mistake, everybody makes mistakes. We all made mistakes this week. Some of them you identified. Some of them I'm identifying. Right. And we're going to correct them. So self correction, improvement, betterment, personal development is key to success here. It's something we believe in. All of those things were woven into this simple task. The other thing it did is that it showed, it showed everybody that the GM had their back, had their best interest in mind, that the GM was so committed to improving them that I'm willing to have a hard conversation, that I'm willing to tell you I think you screwed up in an effort of trying to get it better the next time and again publicly, everybody. So if there's nine people around the table, they got to hear about eight other mistakes and eight solutions. And these were things. And it was. We were rapidly changing our, our problem solving abilities.
[00:13:01] And mostly, and this is the really cool thing, we talk a lot about being nice and being kind.
[00:13:06] I think it showed real commitment on the part of the GM that he was kind enough to pay that close attention and to say the hard thing.
[00:13:17] It might not have come across as nice, but it wasn't about being nice. It was about getting us better, helping each of the people be the very best version of themselves they could be. And I think in the end it was very kind.
[00:13:31] So if you're proud of being nice but frustrated with the results so far, it's time to choose kindness. It's time to choose clarity. Over the comfort you think you're providing. I promise you, that restaurant that I worked at was one of the best. Run. Well run. It was so efficient. Everybody took care of each other. It was like nothing I'd ever seen. And I think it really stemmed from the leadership there and their commitment to getting people better, their commitment to kindness and development and clarity. So, again, if you're proud of being nice, but you're frustrated with the results you've gotten so far, it is time to choose kindness and clarity over the comfort you think you're providing, because it's not doing what you think it's doing.
[00:14:15] I appreciate you guys being here every week. Thank you very much. And I'll see you on the next one.
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